Obligatory Hello

Here we go again!

It seems to me as if life is just a series of cycles. You're up, you're down, you're full of good intentions- but somehow you still fall short of the mark. Your forward momentum diminishes. The finish line ebbs further and further away, completion is an illusion. Drowning, overwhelmed, struggling feebly against inertia... how did I let this happen again??

And other times, you charge forward. Your feats of accomplishment eddy in great clouds of dust behind your heels as you surge forward, as unstoppable as a stampede of wild horses. Success feels less like a trial and more an inevitability.

If you don't read Hyperbole and a Half, you should briefly consider feeling ashamed; that aside, Allie put it best in her amazing post, This Is Why I'll Never Be An Adult. Sometimes? You can conquer the world with your motivation. No task is too monumental. No goal unattainable.

Other times, plainly put? You feel like shit.

This is my story. These are my cycles of success and fumbling. Here, I will chronicle my efforts and struggles against the public transit system, (sometimes crippling) social anxiety, gravity, paperwork, and all other things that trip me up and foil my schemes and plots to someday become a responsible adult.

No large, visibly obvious objects shall foul my path; no matter how many times I accidentally flail my arms into the doorframe and find myself writhing on the floor with absolute certainty that I am doomed forever to funnybone agony, I will stand again, if sullen and sulking, and rise to conquer!

Even when I accidentally forget my wallet at home, have to walk all the way back to retrieve it, hike back in time to watch the bus drive by as I stare stupidly after the waning tail lights-

Even when I wait for fourty minutes for the next one, get involved in superbly awkward half conversation with a stranger that I complete misundersstand and make a jackass of myself in-

Even when I arrive at the college barely in time for my first day of class despite (originally) leaving an hour earlier than I needed to, and then fail entirely to find the classroom-

Even when I then discover I was looking for the wrong class and have to slink in shame, an abysmal half hour late, to the back of the classroom of the appropriate class, through sheer force of will alone despite the shame that threatens to overwhelm me at my many failures-

Even after all of those failures, I still did it. I marched into that classroom, head held high, and-

Well. Okay. I didn't march. I peered into the window, sneaking a glance at someone's text book, before trying to tip-toe as silently as I could to a seat in the back, avoiding eye contact with anyone as the clock face stared down at me accusingly.

But that is a start.